I’m about 60% water, almost as much as a banana. While I slept in a McDonald’s parking lot in New Mexico the other week, the water vapor in my breath stuck to the van’s metal ribs and fogged up the windshield. It wasn’t a big deal. When I woke up, I opened the windows, and the cold air quickly cleared the glass.
But once I introduce natural materials into my van, moisture will be a big deal. If I let water accumulate on the van’s cedar-plank ceiling and cotton sheets, I’ll risk breeding mold. Don’t look at this photo of a man attacked by mold. I’m not a fearmonger because I told you not to look. Continue reading “Tips for Installing a Roof Fan on a Transit Connect Van (Plus the Life Story of the Smiling Bald Guy on Dicor Lap Sealant)”
The other day I began my van conversion in earnest by making a 14” square hole in the roof. But before I condense eight hours of work into five captioned images in my next post, I’d like to issue a disclaimer: The process of building this van feels nothing like looking at my before and after pictures. So far, not one part of this project has been quick or straightforward, and I don’t expect that to change going forward. Reading blogs and Instagram posts about #vanlife is like watching Rachel Ray make a 30-minute meal at a kitchen island conveniently stocked with clean pots, washed greens, and pre-cut pats of butter. Actually converting a van is like spending 30 minutes mincing onions while wearing swim goggles to prevent tearing up, then crying anyway as you write a note to your roommates to please wash your fucking dishes within 12 hours of use xoxoxoxo
Let’s return to these two before-and-after photos (and two more later on) to get a sense of what really happened. Continue reading “What Really Happened (Featuring Panicked Spider, Corrupted Child, Hiccuping Man, and Villain on the Run!)”
As I started sharing this blog with people (or thinking of sharing it with people; I don’t like the thought of other people reading my stuff; I am aware that this does not contribute to my financial well-being as a writer), I realized that not all of you live in Colorado, where I pass at least two homebuilt camper vans on my mile-long journey to the grocery store. Here’s what I mean when I say I’m building a camper van. Continue reading “What is She Building Anyway?”